How To Get To The Ringed City

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What is it about January? As soon as the ball drops, your mind immediately turns to all the stuff you're absolutely going to do this year. The thing is, they're usually the same promises you made last year. Forget been-there, tried-that resolutions and commit to new ones that are less daunting, more doable and guaranteed to make you feel great. Pick a few or try all 20.

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Swap CDs with your teen
Give her a few of your favorites every month and ask to borrow some of hers. She may gain a new appreciation for Sheryl Crow, and you might just learn to love Rihanna.

Be more spontaneous
When was the last time you did something spur-of-the-moment? Well, it's time to embrace a more "why not?" mentality. "Being spontaneous shows that you're not afraid to genuinely express who you are," says C. Robert Cloninger, MD, author of Feeling Good: The Science of Well-Being. So add a dash of fun to your days. If your sister calls and invites you out at the last minute, go. (Your husband can watch the kids, can't he?) If an ad for salsa lessons really catches your eye, don't shrug it off; sign up. The bottom line: This year, whenever the prospect of something fun gives you a twinge of excitement, go for it.

Make your kids laugh
Wear a goofy hat. Speak in a silly voice. Fall over. Make weird faces. It's fun for them and beneficial for you. "Laughter is a way to clear out the mind's cobwebs, to heal from little upsets," explains Lawrence Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting, who advises parents to "follow the giggles." If you figure out something that makes your child laugh, do it again and again. And once a good time starts, keep it going. Don't interrupt the fun just because it's time to make dinner. "Let other things slide sometimes," advises Dr. Cohen.

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Surround yourself with color
Sure, bright, sunny walls can cheer you up instantly. But who has time to paint a room? You can get the same mood-boosting effect with smaller pops of color. The key is to pick the right hue for you. "Focus on colors that make you feel good," says Leatrice Eiseman, author of More Alive With Color. "Use the color in more than one way, preferably three." Toss a yellow throw pillow on the sofa, add a yellow ceramic pot on the mantel and hang a piece of artwork with yellow as the dominant color. "This creates a pathway for your eye," explains Eiseman.

Indulge guilt-free
Whatever your passion, make a point to enjoy it this year—even in small doses. For instance, if chocolate is your weakness, vow to savor a sweet treat every now and then—even if it's just one Hershey's Kiss a day.

Spread cheer—and do it every single day! Smile at strangers, hand out compliments, ask how someone is doing and really mean it.

Think like a kid
"When I taught kindergarten the kids would make up holidays, like the 100th day of school, and we'd have cupcakes," says Kim Kotecki, coauthor of The Escape Plan: A 40-Day Plan to Annihilate the Adultitis in Your Life. Do the same: Cheer because it's a sunny day. Have a cupcake just because it's Wednesday.

Find the funny
Look for every opportunity to have a good guffaw. Play "telephone" when you get together with friends. The adult version is bound to be much more raucous than when you were children. Spend five minutes every day checking out funny websites like lolcats.com

Make one new friend
That's it, just one. Not too intimidating, right? Now take a look around. Your new best bud may be someone you see every day. "Adult friendships are based on similarities, convenience and location," says Elaine D. Zelley, PhD, associate professor of communication at La Salle University in Philadelphia. Instead of putting on your iPod at the gym, try striking up a conversation with the woman on the bike next to you. And don't worry if your first few attempts don't lead anywhere. Keep trying and eventually you'll click with the right person.

Get more sleep
While most of us need at least seven hours of sleep a night, many of us don't get it. What happens when you catch too few zzz's? The three Ps: poor performance, poor mood and poor health, according to Joyce Walsleben, PhD, author of A Woman's Guide to Sleep. When you get sufficient sleep, you're more alert, your immunity improves and you may be at lower risk for certain illnesses, like diabetes. To get more shut-eye, go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night for a week. The next week push it back 30 minutes. Make it a habit and you'll gain nearly four hours of extra sleep a week.

Put your right brain to work
Create your own artist's wall. Grab a camera, go outside and snap whatever moves you. Hang the best shots, rotating in new ones every few weeks.

Explore your hometown
You may be surprised by how many fun and interesting things it has to offer. Maybe a nearby restaurant has live music on Fridays. Perhaps you can sign up for guided nature walks at the neighborhood park. Certain spots may be historical landmarks worth checking out. Search event listings in your paper every week or just take a stroll through town on the weekends and see what you find.

Start a potluck ritual
Make it a once-a-month gathering. Before everyone leaves, set a date for the next get-together.

Do something that scares you silly
Whatever gives you the willies—riding roller coasters, speaking in public, helping your son look for bugs in the backyard—make a promise to try doing it at least once during the year. "Conquering a fear is empowering," says psychologist Laurie Nadel, PhD, author of Sixth Sense: Unlocking Your Ultimate Mind Power. "You'll gain confidence, which carries over into other areas of your life." Not sure you can do it? Diane Conway, author of What Would You Do If You Had No Fear? offers a few tips. Say it out loud to someone else; telling another person creates accountability. Ask for support from someone who's done it. Who better to reassure you? Make a move: Get in the car, sign up, pull on your garden gloves. The first step puts you that much closer to seeing it through.

Simplify without stress
Vow to purge one thing each month. By year's end you'll have cleared out lots of clutter with very little exertion.

Take a "me" day
Schedule a vacation day from work, and while the kids are in school and your husband is at work, do whatever you want. See a movie, go window shopping, spend the day in a park, or just relax on the couch with the remote. Pencil in at least three "me" days this year.

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Lock lips with your husband

You don't have to be a scientist to know that a good kiss makes you feel euphoric. Turns out there is some science behind that giddy rush: the cuddle chemical. "As you kiss, you hold each other, which releases oxytocin, a brain chemical that makes you feel good," says Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. If it's an unexpected smooch, you'll get even more of a rush. So if you want to better your well-being in 2009, surprise your husband with passionate kisses often—and encourage him to do the same!

Host a closet raid
Every few months, invite friends over and ask them to bring clothes they're willing to part with. Go though your closet and select some too.

Play a new kind of hide-and-seek
On separate pieces of paper, write down 15 fun things you've always wanted to do. Now put each sheet in a different spot: one between the pages of a book you plan to read. One tucked in the back of a kitchen cabinet. One placed between the towels in your linen closet. One in the pocket of a pair of jeans. During the year, whenever you come across a note, do whatever it says.

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